Bobby Kotick Announces Stunning New Activision Merger

[Laurelin]

said:

In a shocking announcement just minutes ago, Bobby Kotick, Activision's outspoken CEO announced the company's biggest merger to date. If you haven't figured it out from the picture above, the aforementioned merger was with none other than NATO, effectively making the new entity "Activision Blizzard NATO." There's not much word yet on what exactly will happen as a result of this, but there are a few details known.

* As a measure of safety, all future wars will be fought via Call of Duty team deathmatch, which will require a monthly membership fee of US$163.

* Any country previously a member of NATO is required to purchase and maintain World of Warcraft accounts for every citizen of their respective countries.

* In relation to this, NATO meetings will no longer be held in person, rather all discussions will be held while performing raids throughout Azeroth, which is in the process of being rebranded as "Kotick-Land"

* Also concerning WoW, subscription price, like Call of Duty, will rise to US$163 monthly. Why such an arbitrary number was chosen is beyond us.



We got a change to get a few words in with Kotick about this surely controversial move.

Q: Now, you've made mergers before, but none have gone outside of the realm of video games up to this point. Surely, this is a big, risky move on your part. Why did you decide to make this merger happen?

A: Why the *** not?

Q: Okay, well I guess it's good news that wars are required to be fought digitally in the future. Was this move made to eliminate the number of casualties of war?

A: What? No, do you realize how many soldiers there are? If each one pays a monthly subscription fee, do you realize how much mon-" [Kotick's assistant whispers something in his ear] "Of course it's to prevent death!"

Q: You recently stated that the number of Guitar Hero SKUs per year will decrease. Is this still the case?

A: Well, for Guitar Hero SKUs, yes. But thanks to the expanded number of cultures this merger will bring us into the homes of, we're branching out our operations. You can expect yearly iterations of Kazoo Hero, Ukulele Hero, Mariachi Band Hero, Generic Middle-Eastern Instrument Hero, and Kotick Hero.

Q: Who, hold on a second. Go back to that last one.

A: Kotick Hero?

Q: Yes... Indulge us.

A: Well, rather than a traditional music based game where there's musicians on stage, in this one, you'll use a wide assortment of peripherals to play music like usual, but in the background, you follow me around throughout the day, giving my life a soundtrack. However, you'll also get the chance to take control of me at various points in the day, making me make trips to the bathroom, board meetings, railing my assistant here, and on average, 16 trips to the vending machine per day.

Q: And when can we expect a release?

A: Are you kidding? September 2010 at latest. I see this as a strong future franchise that we can exploit on a year-to-year basis.

Q: Well, we'll be looking forward to that release and we'd love to get an exclusive preview in the future.

A: [Kotick's assistant whispers in his ear once again] Of course, we'll talk money later. I have a board meeting in five minutes. (To assistant) Grab me a bag of Cheetos, will you?

We'll keep you updated on future developments surrounding this groundbreaking merger that is sure to spark much controversy in the coming days.

http://gameinformer.com/blogs/members/b/deadbydagger_blog/archive/2010/02/20/bobby-kotick-announces-stunning-new-activision-merger.aspx

eski biraz ama idare edin :p

[yunusemre]

bu neymiş ya haha :)

[Sam]

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b24/kilevvri1/emperor-kotick-kilevvri1.jpg

[arcane]

AHAHA palpatine rekor :D

[Natanyal]

abi bu bobby kotick resimlerini nerden buluyorsun sadfdsfdsads yani ciddi anlamda efsane ötesi hepsi ASDASDAS

[Sam]

bu palpatine resimleri sanırım bir avukat kotick'in "kendimi skywalker düşünürdüm" beyanına karşılık olarak "hayır sen palpatine'sin" demesini üzerine türemişti geçenlerde, ne zaman yeni haber çıksa birileri resim yapıyor, fotojenik adam. :p

[Sparkcaster]

1 nisan mı bu iyiymiş

[Bone]

Viktor seni seviyorum.
Sam seni de seviyorum, Arcane seni de, Darkrider seni de, Sparkcaster'ı da :)

[Laurelin]

DarKRideR said:

abi bu bobby kotick resimlerini nerden buluyorsun sadfdsfdsads yani ciddi anlamda efsane ötesi hepsi ASDASDAS

/v/ de duzenli konusu aciliyor ehueheu

http://www.bryaneward.com/tdar/kotick.jpg

[Laurelin]

3-4 faildan sonra butun oyun camiyasini kendine dusman ettigini farkedip, toparlamak icin yaptigi konsumada soyliyor o skywalekr lafini

ayni konusmada guitar hero nun orjinal yapimcisi harmonix in (simdi rockband yapiyorlar) berbat bespara etmez oyunalr yapan bir firma oldugunu ve guitar hero ismini onlarin elinden alip neversoft a verdigini

maxis i EA almadan once kapi kapi gezdigini, salak insanalrin simcity 2000 i beklerken kendisinin bunu failliycak proje olarak gordugunu, will wright bunu ziyaret edip sims i tanittiginda ciddiye alip dinlemediklerini soyliyor

aylik uyelik tabanli WoW un duydugu en aptalca sey oldugunu ekleyip keske blizzard i daha once satin alsaydim diyor

yerden 50000 feet yukarda oldugu icin asagidaki devoloperlari goremedigini, bu yuzden hissedarlara bazen para kaybettirdiginden yakiniyor

cok eskiden gamer oldugunu ancak bir hayati oldugu icin oyun oynamayi biraktiginida ilave ediyor ve atari ile kapsitiklari (ve oyun sektorunu cop oyunlarla batirdiklari) seneleri yad edip su cumleyi kuruyor

"Bobi Kotik" said:

I don't know how this happened, but all my life I was the rebel flying the Millennium Falcon or the X-Wing fighter and suddenly I wake up and I'm on board the Death Star

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_XXEt8RxJWIg/SrHnnh4V7kI/AAAAAAAAAcc/DhRol-ibukE/s400/KotickAsshole.jpg

[aquila]

adam isini yapiyo, ve hayvan gibi para kazandirdigi icin isini iyi yapiyo diyebiliriz.

[Sam]

altın yumurtlayan iw'yi kesti, bakalım mw serisi karlarıyla hangi yeni yetme stüdyoları alacak günü kurtarmak için önümüzdeki aylarda.

[Bone]

Viktor said:

maxis i EA almadan once kapi kapi gezdigini, salak insanalrin simcity 2000 i beklerken kendisinin bunu failliycak proje olarak gordugunu, will wright bunu ziyaret edip sims i tanittiginda ciddiye alip dinlemediklerini soyliyor

aylik uyelik tabanli WoW un duydugu en aptalca sey oldugunu ekleyip keske blizzard i daha once satin alsaydim diyor

yerden 50000 feet yukarda oldugu icin asagidaki devoloperlari goremedigini, bu yuzden hissedarlara bazen para kaybettirdiginden yakiniyor

activision eskiden beri çok tuhaf bir şirket olarak geldi bana.
ama adamlar konsol oyunu satıp para kazandığı için umursamıyor böyle şeyleri.