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Picking Up Women 101


Sovereign

Öne çıkan mesajlar

Bu adamın hikayesini biliyor musunuz bilmiyorum açıkçası. Ama Neil Strauss'un "The Game" kitabını okumuş olanlarınız bilir. İnanılmaz bir hikaye. Hepsi gerçek. Boş zamanınızda bir okuyun derim.

said:
The Seducer
In the game of love, Erik von Markovik, once a Dungeons and Dragons-playing teen in suburban Toronto, has become a major player. Now going by the name Mystery, he's taught scores of men how to perfect the pickup.

During its lifespan, the message board at the online home of North America's thriving pickup-artist subculture, FastSeduction.com, has included some strange announcements. But few puzzled readers more than the one posted early the morning of March 24 by the group's unofficial guru, a man known among his acolytes as Mystery.

Born and raised in the Toronto area, Mystery, who also goes by the name Erik von Markovik, leads a series of educational seminars across the United States and Canada on what he calls the Mystery Method, which aims to teach men how to meet women. Customers are willing to pay because Mystery has developed a reputation as one of the world's preeminent pickup artists. The system's hundreds of devoted practitioners quote its founder's wisdom the way Christians might recite the Gospel of John. "What he's done is reverse-engineered human behavior," says one follower.

Several weeks before Mystery's unexpected posting, writer Neil Strauss, in an article in The New York Times Style section, referred to the one-time Torontonian as "one of the most admired men in the world of seduction . . . He has single-handedly invented much of the jargon and tactics that men around the world are using to meet women."

In fact, it was Mystery's stature among pickup artists that made his March 24 announcement so puzzling. His online disclosure consisted of a link to a self-created Internet movie along with a one-line announcement: "This is my new GF;" he wrote, using the community's abbreviation for girlfriend. "I am in love. She lives with me now. I'm very happy."

Among Mystery's pickup-artist peers, the reaction was swift and mixed. Everybody had questions, which were phrased with the disregard for grammar, spelling and punctuation that is typical of the group. "Your not pussy whipped are you?" asked a member. "I'm left scratching my head trying to figure out your motive for posting this . . . Why would you want to parade a woman you claim to be in love with on this place in this manner?" Typed another: "Is Mys going soft on us?" In this little-known backwater of the Internet, the alert was akin to a papal apostasy. The subtext was this: was the most prominent pickup artist of them all finally leaving the game?

For those of us unaware of Mystery and his peers, one of the most surprising things about the group of young males that calls itself the seduc tion community is the fact that a seduction community even exists. It does, and it's bigger than one might expect: each day, hundreds of members from across North America log in to FastSeductioncom, or visit the alt.seduction.fast newsgroup. Thanks to the media attention he's generated, Mystery is the most prominent among dozens of gurus currently peddling educational materials in exchange for fees in the hundreds of dollars. And each month, groups of men gather in clubs and hotel conference rooms across North America to learn, and to trade, tactics that they believe will help them meet women.

For the romantically secure, the story of Mystery is significant because it represents a new phase in the way that technology and the legion of solitary pursuits it has spawned are fundamentally altering the dating game. Mystery and his cohorts are a new class of caballero, one whose members' ultimate aim—the very act of lady-killing itself—is a turn of events profoundly different from casual sex. The goal here? A long-term and loving relationship. In contrast to earlier generations, this new class of digital Don Juan doesn't want sex on Saturday night-or, rather, it doesn't just want sex on Saturday night — it also craves a partner to snuggle with on Sunday morning. Asked why he pursues the Mystery Method to the extent he does, one of the guru's most devoted disciples offers a response that's typical: "Dude," he says. "I want an awesome girlfriend."

That said, dating consultants are nothing new. Mystery-like educators for aspiring amorists were around long before Cyrano de Bergerac helped woo Roxane in the 1897 play by Edmond Rostand. Books that purport to teach one sex how to snare the other are stalwarts of the self-help publishing industry; comparatively current examples include 1995's The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, and Eric Weber's recently updated guide, How to Pick Up Girls. On the Internet, the father of the seduction community is Ross Jeffries, author of How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed (1992). Jeffries' technique features something called Neuro-Linguist Programming, which is supposed to attract beautiful women. Jeffries, whose motto is, "You don't get laid, I don't get paid," charges an average admission fee of more than $1,000 for his seminars. By the mid-'90s his community of followers had established a thriving online presence in a newsgroup called alt.seduction.fast, where nascent Lotharios traded war stories and sought advice about how to bed the "gentler sex." But by 1998 his influence within the newsgroup was waning. Much of his advice was unhelpful to a younger generation of philanderers, who were more likely to make their approaches at nightclubs rather than the coffee shops, supermarkets and video stores that Jeffries favored "I don't do clubs and bars," Jeffries acknowledges.

Mystery was different. He first stumbled upon the seduction community in September 1998, and his presence rapidly reinvigorated activity there. Altseduction.fast, or ASF as it was known to frequent posters, was characterized by a communitarian ethic. Most of the posts were candid appeals for dating advice from adolescents and twenty-something males. Realizing that the time he'd spent in bars made him far more experienced at picking up than most of the newsgroup membership, Mystery began answering these appeals, and it soon became apparent that the advice he imparted to the sophomore seductionistos contradicted much of the group's conventional wisdom. "Don't buy a girl a beer. Don't buy a girl a flower. In fact, don't think about picking her up," Mystery counseled one member. "Rather, think about attracting her [emphasis added]." Hostilities in the form of vituperative newsgroup posts, or "flames," developed between Mystery and a veteran poster, known as Jimmy the HuN, coincidentally also a resident of Toronto. Mystery challenged Jimmy to a battle: they would meet at a nightclub, and then compete to pick up the most beautiful woman. When Jimmy didn't show, Mystery convinced the rest of the newsgroup to ostracize him, effectively consolidating the newcomer's leadership.

From the beginning, Mystery preferred to keep his age and real identity secret. But as the months passed, he provided the then-fledgling seduction community with regular reports on his pickup experiences. The reports revealed details about his life. Mystery eked out a living as a magician, performing for corporate parties and nightclubs in Toronto and, occasionally, Los Angeles. He was 6' 5", with a slim build, shoulder-length dark hair, hazel eyes and black-lacquered finger-nails. He lived in a suburb, but frequently traveled downtown to try to pick up women. At his busiest, in 2000, he went to clubs four nights a week and averaged three to five phone numbers a night. What the community referred to as "the game" was a compulsion he felt driven to pursue. But exactly what drove that compulsion Mystery didn't explain. After meeting with three other pickup artists, Mystery posted to the newsgroup: "It was almost weird to meet up with people who share my interest this much. I have felt rather alone in this obsession. My best friends in Toronto TOLERATE my little PU [pickup] hobby but I don't think they understand the ZEN behind it all . . . I LOVE talking about this shit and to do it live with people who share this obsession (without thinking its WRONG or something) is awesome."

In 2001, three years after he rose to prominence in the seduction community, Mystery began staging the seminars that would eventually land him his reputation as North America's top pickup artist. Although his own reasons for beginning a "teaching career" were simply mercenary, Mystery succeeded in spinning these novel educational sessions to make it appear as if he were bowing to public demand. Here, Mystery took elaborate steps to protect his identity, even stipulating that prospective pupils sign a non-disclosure agreement. Students responded with enthusiasm. "This was a great workshop and definitely worth the money. I feel that I can take the skills and knowledge I picked up . . . and in a month or two, after tons of practice, become GREAT at doing pickups in bars and clubs," one participant posted to the newsgroup.

One recent Saturday in Manhattan, approximately 20 men gathered in a Marriott Hotel conference room for an education in the Mystery Method. Among them was Bob Williams, a 31-year-old accountant who had that morning driven five hours from his home in Washington, D.C., specifically to learn from the master. "I expected to walk into a roomful of losers," says Willaims. "But there was a real mix of people there, and pretty much everyone had successful careers. I mean, this wasn't exactly a model shoot for GQ, but there was a wide mix of all ages and types."

In the three years since Mystery has begun teaching his sessions, he's developed remarkably detailed repertoire of tactics and lingo, much of which Williams learned about in New York. For example, an "HB9" is an attractive woman; the HB stands for "hot babe" and the 9 refers to her looks on an out-of-10 scale. Peacocking is the practice of dressing outlandishly to attract the attention of good-looking women. (It's the reason Mystery paints his nails. He also wears a top hat and platform boots that push his height past seven feet.) He says, "The idea is not to fit in It's to stand out." The educational sessions evolved into two forms: workshops are intensive teaching sessions in which students join groups of up to six people, plus Mystery, then venture out to clubs to attempt to meet women. What Williams was attending was a larger scale two-day seminar that follows a classroom format. Both have taken place across the United States, Canada and Europe, in such cities as New York, Los Angeles, London, Amsterdam and Montreal.

The substantive part of Mystery's education in seduction, his Method, is a step-by-step system that purports to allow its skilled practitioners to attract the best-looking woman at a bar or a club, regardless of whether she's with male friends, female companions or both. "It's the art of not weirding someone out," says Mystery. His lessons include group dynamics, which is important because most other dating consultants base their advice on situations in which the pickup artist targets a lone woman, a condition in which the human female is rarely found in the wilderness of an urban club scene.

Couched in the community's own characteristic terminology, which borrows liberally from pop culture, martial arts and metaphors both athletic and military, the gist of Mystery's counseling amounts to this: once a pick-up artist identifies an attractive woman, he should infiltrate the group she's with. Counter intuitively, he should ignore the attractive woman and instead befriend her acquaintances. And if there are men with her, the pickup artist-whom Mystery refers to as a PUA-should befriend the men first, explaining, "You lead the men, the women follow." At all costs, Mystery advises, ignore the "target." Only after the PUA has gained the trust of her compatriots is he to engineer an introduction. Soon after, the PUA must issue to the target a "neg hit," or a harmless verbal jab: "Nice nails. Are they real?" Mystery believes such banter works to differentiate the pickup artist from other men in the mind of the target, whose good looks mean she's accustomed to eliciting admiration from the males she meets rather than witty repartee.

The core of the Mystery Method is a series of pre-rehearsed routines that Mystery develops with his clients. The "routines," which are really only anecdotes, are intended to highlight the attractive aspects of the client's personality. Often, such routines are couched as responses to questions that typically come up in pickup situations. If a target asks where the Method practitioner lives, for example, Mystery might suggest the client use that to segue into a witty account of the foibles of living in his particular neighborhood. Mystery then advises his disciples to "isolate" the target from her friends, perhaps with a polite request to speak in private, an inquiry Mystery tells his clients to make only after they've sensed from the target several "IOIs," or indications of interest. What Mystery calls "the close" involves getting the target's telephone number. The client can achieve this by abruptly cutting short the conversation with an invented excuse — perhaps a previous appointment — and then following that up with the regret that he can't talk longer. The hope is, by then, that the client has charmed the girl enough that she volunteers her number. Responding to the ancient dilemma about how soon to call a prospective date, Mystery advises his clients it's fine to do so on the very next day.

Williams came away impressed with Mystery's teachings. "Look," he says. "I'd be the first to say this is a gimmick. But this is also practical advice. He's not preaching a quick fix. He says, we'll teach you skills, and over the long term, you'll make progress." Williams is right about one thing: unlike most dating consultants, who profess that their teachings will lead to quick success, Mystery champions the value of hard work, emphasizing that his system requires at least 200 "approaches" before one really becomes proficient at it.

The seminar worked for Williams, who describes his own personal style as "Banana Republic meets metrosexual:" While in New York for the workshop, he stayed at the chic W boutique hotel. At a bar, he approached a pair of leggy females, a redhead and a brunette. They turned out to be sisters, and Williams finished the encounter by getting a phone number. "I'm certain I wouldn't have approached them had I not been at the seminar," he says.

It is through the staging of such seminars that Mystery has managed to create a cult of personality that has proven enduringly loyal. Many of his followers seem as devoted as the disciples of Brad Pitt's character, Tyler Durden, in the 1999 cult flick, Fight Club. But his followers don't just credit Mystery with helping boost their ability to pick up women. They credit him with improving the quality of their lives in general. "It's given me confidence, not just with girls, but in life," says one practitioner. "It helps in so many areas, it's retarded." Even Strauss, the writer of the New York Times piece, has become convinced. During the two years he's spent researching the seduction subculture for a book entitled The Game (due out this fall from HarperCollins) Strauss has become one of the community's most prominent members. Like the other PUAs, Strauss uses similar terms in crediting the Mystery Method with boosting his self-esteem. Says Strauss: "It's revolutionized my life?"

However, that new confidence doesn't mean these men are willing to disclose their PUA status to the world. Mystery's students and peers are almost universally unwilling to speak under any condition but total anonymity. Even Strauss seems reluctant to admit his stature in the subculture, to the point that he declines to tell outsiders the handle by which he is known among fellow PUAs. (According to Ross Jeffries, it's Style.) One PUA requested not only that I keep his name secret, but also that I refrain from disclosing his occupation, age, town of origin or any details about his appearance. When asked why, he verged on panic. "It's just not cool," said the man, who later sent me an e-mail requesting that I also keep secret his request for secrecy.

According to Strauss's article, Mystery was "born Erik von Markovik"

That's close: Mystery's name at birth was Erik James Horvat-Markovic; he legally changed it to Erik von Markovik in his early 20s. He claims to be 27; actually he's 32. And his life has been considerably less glamorous than the legend he's created around himself.

Mystery grew up in the lower middle class Jane-and-Eglinton area of Toronto and attended nearby Martingrove Collegiate Institute. His late father was a welding-rod salesman, his mother a clerical worker. "He was a shy and withdrawn child," says his older brother, Rolf Jr. "A real computer geek. He was always reading, or on the Commodore VIC-20." The boy who would become Mystery particularly loved to take apart electronic devices, such as remote-control model cars, to "reverse-engineer" them: a method of determining how something works. He also fought monsters in the imaginary catacombs of the Dungeons and Dragons role-playing game.

When Mystery was 12, his father, Rolf, suffered a stroke. According to Rolf Jr., it profoundly altered the Horvat-Markovic patriarch's personality. "Before, [my father] wouldn't eat sweets. And after the stroke, he was ice cream boy . . . What came back was not my father. The new guy was a cantankerous grump." And Mystery didn't get along with him. "It got to the point that they just didn't like each other," says Rolf Jr. "They couldn't sit at the same dinner table. If Erik thought of something that would make my father crazy, he would do it."

Shortly after his father's stroke, Mystery discovered magic, which provided him with a way to garner the approval from others that he didn't get from his father. His brother says, "Magic allowed him to build his confidence?" Naming David Copperfield as a primary influence, the rookie illusionist performed tricks for his siblings, but after several years his brother and sister tired of their roles as Mystery's perpetual audience. Still, when the teenage Mystery won a spot as a finalist in a talent show at the Canadian National Exhibition, his family agreed to attend the special event. The performance's climax was an illusion that required Mystery to produce, seemingly from nowhere, a dove, which would then fly to freedom. But when Mystery brought forth the bird, it fell with a thud to the stage, directly in front of the judges. There was silence as magician, audience and judges all realized what had happened: wherever Mystery had had it sequestered, the dove had died — possibly of suffocation, according to Rolf Jr. "He's standing there onstage like a deer in the headlights . . . Needless to say, he didn't win"

The amateur illusionist chalked the experience up to bad luck. Undeterred in his quest for attention, Mystery, now 19, ventured to the bars and VIP lounges of Toronto, where bored drinkers were happy to witness his acts of levitation and ESP. Rolf Jr. explains, "Nightclubs became a place for him to perform, where people would actually watch him." Mystery had talent, and some managers began paying him to wander their clubs, performing tricks. Consequently, Mystery grew adept at ingratiating himself. "Approaching groups of people at clubs was my job," he recalls. "That's how I really learned how to interact with others, because I was able to hide behind the magic."

Mystery also discovered something else: his stunts occasionally helped him to charm girls, whom he had previously found difficult to relate to. When he failed to engage a woman in conversation, Mystery used his considerable powers of logic to analyze what had happened, disassembling encounters the same way he had once examined remote-control cars. As his skill at magic developed, so did his ability to attract. Far from the awkwardness of his adolescence, Mystery was maturing into a man with a particular skill for charming women. His brother remembers how Mystery and a female friend would compete at lounges and nightclubs to see which of them could be the first to "make out" with an attractive stranger. At first, the female friend won, but eventually Mystery grew so adept at the pickup that his friend stopped competing. "It was remarkable," says Rolf Jr. "He could walk into any club and get any chick in the joint."

By 2000, in addition to placing copious Internet postings for the online seduction community, Mystery says he was regularly drawing fees of $1,500 a night to perform magic at corporate events. He also appeared on CTV's late-night talk show Open Mike with Mike Bullard. But to really make it as a magician, he knew he would have to become known in the U.S. So he moved to Los Angeles, where he spent more than a year trying to land himself a television special that would showcase his conjuring talents. When nothing materialized and his money ran out, he returned to Toronto, where he discovered he could no longer get the corporate gigs that had once funded his lifestyle Broke at 29 and living with his brother, Mystery attempted to capitalize on his other skill. He posted an announcement at the seduction newsgroup, where he'd been a respected leader for about three years. "Master Pickup Artist 'Mystery' is now offering an IN-FIELD BASIC TRAINING Workshop in selected cities," began the announcement, which went on to describe an intense course that would take place mainly in clubs.

It was a desperate attempt to make some money. It worked. A single four-day workshop in Toronto led to another in Montreal. Soon Mystery was marketing his educational sessions through the proliferating message groups and discussion boards frequented by the online seduction community. As months passed and word spread, Mystery found himself bouncing between New York and Los Angeles, where his two-day seminars attracted dozens at a time.

Excerpted from Saturday Night Magazine
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biraz uzun tabi de özet olarak şöyle diyim:

Adam beraketini 21 yaşında kaybetmiş bir insanken kadınları baştan çıkarmayı matematik kadar basit kurallara döküp bu işi öğretmeye başlıyor. İlk birkaç öğrencilerinden biri de The Game kitabının yazarı Neil Strauss. Adam kafayı takıyo öğreniyo hepsini ve üzerine kitap yazıyo.. Kitapta anlattıklarını görseniz...

Taktiklerle Paris Hilton'u tavlıyorlar.. Courtney Love bunların evine taşınıyo falan şaka gibi şeyler dönüyo.. Bu yukarda yazdığım da bi magazinden alıntı.
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okuyun bence ya baya iyi şu kadarcık şeyden bile bişeyler çıkarmak mümkün. öyleki klasik çöpçatanlık anlayışında birebir kadını etkilemekten ve bunun varyasyonu durumlardan yola çıkıldığını söylerken, bu adamın biraz daha sosyolog gibi davrandığından filan bahsediyor. ister kız arkadaşlarının yanında olsun ister erkek, grupla ilgilenmenin kızın daha çok ilgisini çekiceğinden filan bahsediyor.

bi arkadaşımında farkında olmadan aynı şeyi bu yaz bodrumda yaptığını hatırlayınca daha da etkilendim açıkcası :)
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kitabın güzelliğini şöyle özetleyeyim isterseniz:

Neil Strauss işte 30 küsür yaşında bi adam.. kitabın başında kızlarla arası sıfır.. bütün geceyi geçirip yatağa kadar getirip kız suratına arkadaş kalalım falan diyor.. o derece.

Adamın kafasına tak ediyo ve gidip bu community'ye giriyo işte çalışıyo ediniyo falan.

Kitabın sonunda adamın aynı anda çıktığı 10 tane kız arkadaşı var ve hepsi model kalitesinde. İşi ilerletiyo bunları nasıl threesome'a ikna ederim taktiklerine başlıyo.. onda da başarılı oluyo falan.

Sadece o değil, kitabın başında Neil Strauss kadar hatta kat be kat daha ezik olan 2 adam daha geliyo Mystery'nin yaptığı ilk workshopa.. kitabın sonunda onlar bile bu işin dersini veren adamlar oluyolar.

Mesela kitaptan bazı alıntı terimleri yazayim, belki ilginizi çeker:

IOI (Indication of Interest): Kız isminizi sorarsa, esprilerinize gülerse, muabbet çerçevesinde size daha bi dokunmaya başlarsa gibi böyle ufak detaylar. Size ilgi duyduğunun belirtileri, kısaca.

neg: Kızla dalga geçmek. Ama fazla ağır olmadan.. "Ne kadar güzel tırnakların varmış, gerçek mi?" veya "ahauahauah gülerken burnun kımıldıyor.." gibi.

Time Constraint: Yeni tanıştığınız insan topluluğuna yanlarında fazla kalamayacağınızı, 1-2 dk'ya arkadaşlarınızın yanına dönmek zorunda olduğunuzu belirtmek.


Ayrıca en başta copy/paste'lediğim yazıyı çevirmem imkansız. Ama "The Game" kitabının Türkçe'si Caddebostan Remzi Kitabevi'nde satılıyordu, bilginize.
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ben çıktıyı aldım, biraz biraz okuyorum valla.

ama türk kızlarında işe yaramaz hiç bi türlü. zaten burda erkek nesli olarak harcanıyoruz. çirkin çirkin kızların peşinde yalan oluo gençliğimiz. ama hani bi yurtdışı olayı olur, trenle yurtdışı gezmeleriydi şuydu buydu olur, işe yarar.
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Sovereign said:


Mesela kitaptan bazı alıntı terimleri yazayim, belki ilginizi çeker:

IOI (Indication of Interest): Kız isminizi sorarsa, esprilerinize gülerse, muabbet çerçevesinde size daha bi dokunmaya başlarsa gibi böyle ufak detaylar. Size ilgi duyduğunun belirtileri, kısaca.

neg: Kızla dalga geçmek. Ama fazla ağır olmadan.. "Ne kadar güzel tırnakların varmış, gerçek mi?" veya "ahauahauah gülerken burnun kımıldıyor.." gibi.

Time Constraint: Yeni tanıştığınız insan topluluğuna yanlarında fazla kalamayacağınızı, 1-2 dk'ya arkadaşlarınızın yanına dönmek zorunda olduğunuzu belirtmek.


Ayrıca en başta copy/paste'lediğim yazıyı çevirmem imkansız. Ama "The Game" kitabının Türkçe'si Caddebostan Remzi Kitabevi'nde satılıyordu, bilginize.


Genellikle bilinen şeylerdir zaten bunlar... Ne bileyim pek "garıların kitabını yazdım lan" havasına girmeseymiş amcam bence.
edit: Böyle terim halleriyle değil tabi hani şöyle yaparsam böyle olur felan diye insan bilir yani... bilmez mi lan?
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