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how to control ejaculate

step 1

when you have a good erection, lie on your back, close your eyes, and masturbate yourself. you must concentrate on your erotic sensations, so that when you begin to feel the urge to ejaculate developing you can stop what you're doing; then wait 1 minute for the ejaculatory urge to subside. you are looking out for the feeling that tells you that you're going to come - and stopping before it happens. this may seem difficult at first, but it rapidly gets easier, so don't give up. some men find it easier to stop themselves ejaculating by squeezing their penis firmly just under the glans at the top of the shaft.
after a minute, masturbate again until you once again feel the urge to ejaculate coming on, whereupon stop once more for a full minute. this process is repeated three times, and then on the fourth you can carry on till you ejaculate. as you do, notice how you feel in your groin and penis and the sensations that accompany the whole process. each phase of this cycle will take you to a greater level of arousal, so you're already learning to recognize and respond to a greater and greater level of arousal, one which in the past would perhaps have simply and inevitably have led to you ejaculating.
do this 3 times a week for 2 weeks.

step 2

you might already be sensing that you have some control over the timing of when you have your orgasm. by slowing down your masturbation, or stopping it altogether, you may have discovered a new level of control over what previously seemed to be an unstoppable process. the next step is to learn how to keep your arousal at a high level without coming. for example, if 10 meant that you were going to come, then you would aim to keep yourself at 7.5 or 8. as you masturbate, you can focus on your arousal level, and when you get to 6 or 7 you can ease off or slow down, trying to keep the level of arousal high or constant. if you suddenly lose it and ejaculate, well, just put it down to experience and try again next time!
after trying this out for several times, you should find that you can keep yourself highly aroused but not on the verge of ejaculating, and it will be easier for you to keep this level of arousal without coming. what's more, after you can do this for 15 minutes, and then let yourself go and ejaculate, you will find that the intensity of your orgasms is much greater and more intense!
you need to make this more gradual approach to ejaculation a habit pattern, which is best done by practising three times a week. when you practice over and over, it will become the normal response in your body - just as your quick ejaculation is your normal response right now.

step 3

and the interesting thing is that you can extend your degree of control over your ejaculation by learning to clench and relax your pc muscles. i described kegel exercises for men on the male sexuality page of this site as a way of increasing the power of your orgasms. but the benefits of learning how to contract and relax these muscles at will go beyond shooting your semen further when you ejaculate and feeling a more intense orgasm: the benefits include being able to slow down or speed up your orgasm. the effects are different in different men. i can actually bring myself off more quickly depending on how tightly i clench these muscles, but for some men, the same process slows down orgasm. many men find that if they partially clench them they can exercise control over how quickly they come. all in all, the power of the pc muscle contraction is that it allows you another way of holding off coming or speeding it up.
what you do is to contract the muscle during the exercises you learned in step 2 and see what effect it has on your progression through arousal to orgasm. the pc muscles are the ones that you use to stop yourself urinating in midstream. when i was learning to do this, i found it easiest to practice clenching and relaxing them when i had half an erection. the swelling of the penis is a sure sign that you have got the right muscle group.

step 4

next, you can enhance steps 2 and 3 (if you have not already used it in the process) by using a lubricant: some of the more slippery modern water based lubes mirror the vaginal environment, and will provide even more arousal than normal. after several (3 or 4) trials of this kind, the couple can practice ejaculatory control while he is inside the vagina.
step 5
the object of your practice is in sight - vaginal intercourse. prolonged vaginal intercourse at that (or longer, at least). imagine it - not shooting your load the minute you enter her! ok, so what do you do? you're going to have sex with your partner on top while you lie on your back. you can put your penis at the entry to her vagina or just inside it, and see what that feels like. if you feel like coming, ease off or away until the sensation passes. remember the idea is to maintain your level of arousal for as long as you chose without coming. once again, squeezing your penis (see step 1) may be helpful in controlling the process. when you are able, with your partner on top, put your penis inside her vagina and then guide her up and down with your hands on her hips until you are at arousal level 7.5 or 8 - and keep it that way by adjusting your partner's movements. stop moving and rest if you get too close to coming. your desire to ejaculate will decrease at this point, and when it has done so, guide her into resuming her movements, once again pausing when you near the point of ejaculatory inevitability. it is important that during the first three repetitions of this sequence you do not thrust. however, on the fourth repetition, let yourself go, focus on how it feels and thrust until you ejaculate.
the crucial thing is that you try and focus on what you're feeling all the time, so that you know when you're about to ejaculate and can stop the process before it happens. after three or four sessions of lovemaking using this process, you could repeat the exercise in the side by side position for three or four sessions of lovemaking - and then lastly do it with the man on top, missionary position. the whole sequence can be repeated as many times as you like until you're confident you can control your ejaculation - the point of the exercise being that you can get to a point where you can let go and come when you want. this may take from 2 to 10 weeks and sometimes a few months to get complete control.
and above all remember to ask your partner what she wants each time you have had an orgasm. she may be happy just to see you happy, or she may want clitoral stimulation to orgasm. as derek polonsky puts it: "talking with each other about expectations and what feels pleasurable relieves one of the need for reading minds. telling each other how you like to be stimulated, what feels good, and what does not paves the way for feeling confident that there are ways to provide each other with exciting and enjoyable sexual feelings that are not exclusively dependent on sexual intercourse. practice and frequency are the single most effective things you can do to continue to develop more effective control over when you have an orgasm......it is important to remember that there will be times when you simply cannot control your orgasm." and don't dwell on your failures - laugh and joke with your partner about the process - sex is meant to be fun, not a trial!

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mahmut tuncer Enthusiast

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bLackcha0s said:
Taocu seks öğrenin

zaman ayarlı orgazmın sırrı orda yatıyor

evet, taocu seksin temelinde yatan felsefe "madem bulduk bırakmayalım aga!!1"dir. bildiğiniz üzere çinli kızlar güzel erkekler ise eciş bücüş efemine tiplerdir dolayısıyla dişiler tarafından rağbet görmüyorlar ve bu yüzden sevişemeden ölüyor birçoğu. bizim erkeklerimizde dişilerden aynı rağbeti gördüğü için bu felsefe kesinlikle tercih edilmelidir.
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