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Eger birgun mecha pilotu olursam...

Laurelin

Son yazan: Laurelin
yeri: Çizgi Dünyası

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Öne çıkan mesajlar

Laurelin Grand Master

Laurelin

Mesaj tarihi:
Mesaj tarihi:
1. I will insist that a qualified psychiatrist be among the base staff.

2. If my father abandoned me several years ago, I will not waste my efforts trying to win his approval.

3. I will not fall in love with one of my friends. The chances are, either they will be killed by the villain or I will end up in mortal combat with them.

3A. I will certainly not fall in love with the mysterious, silent girl whom my father seems to have taken a liking to.

3B. If I do fall in love, I will make sure it is with an enemy. In all likelihood, she will switch sides immediately afterwards.

4. If a female character whom most of the audience cannot stand continually demands that I kill her, I will do so.

5. I will accept that I have to pilot the mecha and quit whining about it.

6. I will not leave the keys in the mecha.

7. I will not go after the enemy alone on a personal quest for revenge, because I will get my ass kicked.

8. I will occasionally take the advice of my pseudo older brother mechajock ace pilot friend, cause he's been around and knows more than I do.

9. But I won't get *too* attached to him, so I won't be shattered by his inevitable death halfway through the series.

10. No matter how much the fans appreciate it, I will not engage in pointless mecha duels with my fellow pilots.

10 b. If I absolutely MUST get in a mecha duel with the squadron lech to keep his/her hands off MY mecha's crew chief, make sure HE/SHE is drunk and I am NOT!

11. I will avoid mecha control systems that tend to cause mental imbalances in the user.

12. I will not operate any mecha whose AI is highly unstable and/or unbalanced.

12b. I will in no way give any indication that I find the AI attractive as a woman (esp if it is based on an old ex-girlfriends brainwaves.)

13. I will not get so attached to my mecha that I will call it overly 'cute' or 'bloodthirsty' names.

14. I will not shoot at the obviously talented civilians who are flying on my side.

15. I will find out the identities of the obviously talented civilians and try to get them to join the space force, thus making sure that I'm NOT the youngest guy there.

15b. I will not "mentor" said civvies (even if we are or were past friends) So as to get caught in the "big brother" effect.

16. I will not attempt to get in bed with anybody ranked under me. It's just bad luck.

16b. If my senior officer is of the fairer sex I will not call her 1) an old lady (ba-san) or 2) an "old sour-puss."

17. I will not try to get a date with my GF/BF when I think my smaller brother is not around. I'll get instead a nanny to BE SURE he is not around.

17b. If said smaller brother is a bit older, I'll simply get a bit younger nanny.

17c. I'll ask my pseudo older brother mechajock ace pilot friend to run a basic security check of the above nanny, of course, to be sure she's not a spy/the enemy/the evil guy's daugther/the evil "guy" in disgise/an alien/a demon/whatever this series is all about.

17d. After doing all of the above I WILL check the trunk/cargo bay just to make sure the little pest is not stowed away. (possibly with the series "cute" mascot).

18. I will use the same base unit with the same paint scheme as everyone else on my side to avoid being recognized and singled out by the enemy's ace (regardless of how good looking she is).

19. I will take my basic mecha piloting courses OUTSIDE of large cities, even if they've already been evacuated.

20. No matter how teenaged pilot I may be, I will double-check for the existance of a solid-design, time-proven ejection seat on my mecha; the producers could decide to introduce a new starring teenager anytime...

21. I will ensure my mecha is water-protected BEFORE the episode where I have to go fight in the ocean.

21b. Same aplies to all other enviroments, of course, especially S-P-A-C-E.

22. Added to the above ones, I will double check all the following things, too:

a. My guns are loaded.
b. My superior officer (and any known "big mouth") is AWAY from auditive range before I call him "the Old (whatever)"
c. My guns are loaded.
d. My GF doesn't have any hammer hidden before trying to kiss her .
d bis. My GF is willing to let me search her for hidden hammers.
e. My guns are loaded (just to be SURE!)
f. The exotic love interest that suddenly asks me for a date is not a relative of the nanny that didn't pass the security check.

23. Under no circumstances will I propose marriage or promise a date to my love interest immediately before going into combat, nor will I use the phrase "Hold this for me until I get back." Doing so is almost universally fatal.

24. If I should foolishly do one of the above and be near-fatally wounded rather than killed outright, I will seek medical attention BEFORE going to see said love interest. (Nobody's pineapple salad is THAT good.)

25. I will pick a single love interest, rather than string two or three of them along and set myself up for a tiresome series of misunderstandings and romantic mishaps.

26. My mech was hand-built by an eccentric (possibly deranged) old scientist. It contains a thousand different components, and a minor failure in any one of these could mean my death. I will bear these facts in mind before sleeping with said scientist's only daughter.

27. Regardless of whether or not I am a newtype, I will stay the F**K away from mobile armors!

28. I will always keep in mind that the flashier the attack, the more likely it is to defeat my opponent.

29. I will insist on a drab uniform, because the side with the snazziest uniforms always looses.

30. I would confine my romantic activities to my summer job working the crowds at the Robot Carnival, where the worst that can happen is a bad VR trip or a slap to the face.

31. I'll be careful what I eat before training flights

32. I refuse to have unsafe sex before missions that may involve dimensional weapons/time travel."
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