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Asteroth

Son yazan: Asteroth
yeri: Konu Dışı

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Asteroth Grand Master

Asteroth

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Corporate Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up, quickly wraps her self up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £500 to drop that towel that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £500 and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the £500 he owes me?"



Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in time with your stakeholders, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure

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Corporate Lesson 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk.

"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. In astonishment,

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pena Coladas and the love of my life." Poof!

He's gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."



Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

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Corporate Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.



Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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Corporate Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the strength.

"Well,why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

After a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.



Moral of the story:=20

Bullsh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there


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Corporate Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realise how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.


Moral of the story:

1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.

2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.

3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut![signature][hline]
karpuz, 02 December 2003 16:19 tarihinde demiş ki:
You hödö you hödö my self controoool
hödödö hödö Dırırırı DIIIII dırırıııı DIII
Emaleth, 03 December 2003 18:37 tarihinde demiş ki:
hödöhödöyle dırırıdııları da birleştirsen şahane olacak...
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Asteroth Grand Master

Asteroth

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Aaaa... Ulan bakmayı unuttuk daha önce açılmışmı diye iyi mi... Neyse , eğer daha önce açıldıysa kusura bakmayın arkadaşlar, görünce çok hoşuma gitti, paylaşayım dedim[signature][hline]
karpuz, 02 December 2003 16:19 tarihinde demiş ki:
You hödö you hödö my self controoool
hödödö hödö Dırırırı DIIIII dırırıııı DIII
Emaleth, 03 December 2003 18:37 tarihinde demiş ki:
hödöhödöyle dırırıdııları da birleştirsen şahane olacak...
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metboy Experienced

metboy

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said:
Nefr, 03 Nisan 2004 13:55 tarihinde demiş ki:
"I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Bunu imza yapmak lazım lol, bayıldım.

bunun değişik bir versiyonunu küçükken bize temel fıkrası diye anlatırlardı =)
1.si çok hoş bu arada
bi de sonuncusu =)[signature][hline]Bıshop, 31 Mart 2004 22:19 tarihinde demiş ki:
ya şimdi öle bişi olsa cıkar derimki "ya birader ben lolitacıyım böle resim yaparım" ...
...ee reziilim tabi kız olsam kendim lolita olurum o yaşta, cahilmişim pişmanım
;;suicidal icq
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